I am not particularly good at putting things together. My brain just isn’t wired to see how mechanical, electrical or physical things naturally connect. When I drive by IKEA, my body trembles in fearful anticipation. I bought an audio system that needed to be assembled over the weekend. Of course it didn’t connect the first time and my response went to autopilot. The stimulus was the directions, the parts on the table and a failed first attempt. The autopilot response was to jump right out of the Triangle and to curse the “faulty equipment,” “lousy instructions,” and “incompetent sales person.” This is my ego trying to keep me “safe” and in control. But that is NOT the route to a spiritual, intelligent approach. The consequences of the “autopilot” in the example above are rather benign overall, but think of the potential results if we took a similar pattern when interacting with others we deeply care about and/or the people we work with. Here’s what I’m working on to put my “higher self” in charge instead of my overprotective, often unhelpful ego.
- Become more self-aware and understand the relationship between thought, emotion and action. Some thoughts create emotional reactions that often include anger, blame, fear and victimization. You have to learn how to short-circuit that egoist cycle.
- Here is the gift I promised! There is a space between the things that happen to us and our reactions. When we are running on autopilot, we are not aware of that space. As we become more aware there is a space, we can consciously expand it. The brilliant author of SQ 21, Cindy Wigglesworth, calls this inserting a “PAUSE.”
- Inserting a pause between stimulus and response will help you ask the question, “Who is in charge?” Is there a wiser way my higher self can handle this?
- Learning how to insert a pause takes self-awareness and practice. It is a gift you can give to yourself and the more your responses reflect your higher purpose, it will be a gift to others too.
Pause in the Triangle,