Help Living In and Out of the Triangle

I won’t get into the details because the situation is personal. However, I had purchased someone a substantial gift some time ago and they had stored it at our home.  Our relationship with that person has become distant and disappointing. For some reason I became petty regarding that gift; I felt like restricting this person’s ability to retrieve it. When I openly expressed my feelings, our adult daughter, who has heard much about the Character Triangle  (CT) over the years, directly but respectfully suggested that I “live in the Triangle” regarding this matter.

That simple statement and reminder quickly brought me to my senses. Of course… I gave that gift without strings attached. Why would I want to govern my previous generosity based on what the person is doing now? That is being scarcity versus abundant focused. Be generous. Do so without expecting reciprocity. There is no question what the right thing to do is. Graciously help the person to easily retrieve the gift.

This situation reminds me how easy it is to personally slip out of the CT and how helpful it is to get support from others. This happens when there is a shared understanding on a common set of values to guide us. 

This applies every day in our work situation. When a company has a common set of values in approaching issues, we can lean on each other as we take action and make choices. If we are fortunate, someone will be there to remind us if we’re tempted to stray. As in most cases, teamwork wins over an individual going it alone. Spreading understanding of the CT amongst all members of an organization can be powerful.

with Character,

Lorne

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