smile | Lorne Rubis

The Astonishing Gift of Smiling

201120 Dec
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Posted inBe Abundant

Key Point: In this season of gift giving I want to remind you to give yourself and others a huge gift that scientifically is proven to generate emotional and even material wealth, yet is absolutely free: A SMILE.

Ron Gutman has written a book Smile: The Astonishing Powers of a Simple Act. Please allow yourself 10 minutes to watch the following entertaining video by Gutman on this topic in TED talk. Share it with people you care about. Put in their digital Christmas stocking.

The facts are overwhelming. People, who genuinely smile a lot, live longer, are perceived to be smarter, have less stress, and just do better in life. If you want to review the wealth of studies and research that support this premise, read Gutman’s book. If you want a practical test, just walk around the building you’re in now and observe smiling. Think about the good feeling that is generated when someone just smiles at you. One fact that reinforced this for me is that little kids smile about 400 times a day; we adults a heck of a lot less (see our grandson, right, with his first ice cream cone).

Character Move:

Consciously think about smiling a heck of a lot more. It is free AND has a huge ROI! (Go check the facts if you think this suggestion is just mushy do da.)
Walk in your work area and smile at everyone on the way in the morning. Do the same thing when you leave for the day.
Do not take things so darn seriously. Even the most serious business/work issue is a candidate for a smile. It isn’t usually a life or death matter. So be a strong, tough minded, disciplined leader and just friggin’ smile.

Smile Power in the Triangle,

Lorne

Tough Times End …Tough People Keep Going

201017 Nov
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Posted inBe Abundant

After 40 years in the work world if I know anything I know this: you and I are going to lose sometimes, and more often than we would like. Some will be big losses but most will be skirmishes. If you’re a lawyer you’re going to lose a few big cases. A doctor will miss a few vital diagnoses. A carpenter will have measured wrong more than once, and so on. How will you and I react? Well, we have a right to be disappointed, sad, mad, and a variety of other “feel bad” emotions. We will be seduced into the world of blame and we will likely be the harshest on ourselves. And we may want to blame a number of other things or people. Certainly we have to deal with others who will want to blame and criticize us. So what can we do?

The following action list is a helpful general guide but the most important thing we have to realize is that what we do about the loss is what matters most! How we react will tell us and others more than the loss. Please believe me. You might get empathy but there will be little or no sympathy. Only you and I can take us off the hook. We are in control and everyone is watching. If we choose the road of feeling sorry for ourselves, the ironic thing is that people like to pile on, usually in a negative way. More people push us away than pull us toward them, unless we:

Choose to examine the outcome as a serious student. Do not look for absolution. Without being defensive, get motivated to openly learn. Be objective. Collect data. Get honest feedback. Do not act victimized in any way. Other than our family and friends, most people don’t care if we won or lost. They will be attracted to helping if we’re a serious learner.
After a brief period of feeling sorry for ourselves, consciously choose to end the pity. We must not let our minds control us. If we “mind wander” we will likely go to “should’ve, …could’ve…” All this may be somewhat cathartic but not of much real value going forward.
Put the learning into specific principles and actions. Identify things to apply and practice so we don’t repeat the things that contributed to the loss.
Say thank you and be grateful for the loss so we get the opportunity to win again. Celebrate being in the mix. Show tenacity and mental toughness. Most people love those who get off the ground and dust off.
Smile and find the humor in the learning process. Forgive ourselves and others if mistakes were made. We’re alive. And as the old adage says, “You only trip if you’re moving.”

And by the way, don’t feel bad if this feels like it is easier said than done. It is.

Live the Triangle,

Lorne

The Terry Bradshaw Manifesto: Keep It Fun …Keep It Simple

20101 Nov
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Posted inBe Abundant

Many of you may not be American football fans, or you may be in part of the world where it is irrelevant. However, I had an opportunity to hear American football icon Terry Bradshaw speak to a room full of business executives the other day at the Aria Hotel & Casino (a beautiful facility) in Las Vegas. He’s in the Pro Football Hall of Fame and is an actor in a number movies (including Failure to Launch). It was interesting to see Terry hold 300+ people in the palm of his hand for 60 minutes. Of course many were men or women who saw Mr. Bradshaw lead The Pittsburgh Steelers to four Super Bowl titles as quarterback, twice as Super Bowl MVP, and watches him religiously every Sunday in his role as a Fox NFL Sunday Analyst.

He held the room mesermized with more than just talk about football; it was his philosophy of living. During the talk Terry had this incredible approachability, like he was just jawin’ with a bunch of good ole boys at the bar, or mates at the pub.

Throughout his stellar football career he, like most of us, has had many personal ups and downs, several divorces, financial issues, and more. He couldn’t get a high enough grade to get to a top notch college. People called him dumb, too stupid to be a pro QB. So through the highs and lows, here are a few elements of the Bradshaw philosophy:

Have Fun every day… smile all the time …laugh …laugh …and find the humor in life, it’s all around us (read my recent blog on humor).
Love and respect yourself first. How can you love others if you don’t love and respect yourself first?
Say thank to people every day. Most of us need others’ help and support to be successful (as you might imagine Bradshaw told poignant stories of the help he got from his teammates).
Call your mamma and papa. Tell them you love them. Forgive them if you have to; they probably did the best they could.
It is all about family. When we die they are likely to be the ones in the room.

There were a number of other “bradshawisms” but in the end he tries to simplify life everyday by focusing on what’s most important. People want to be around people who want to win… and Terry talked about how glorious a feeling it is to accomplish what one sets out to do. In the end it often comes down to human beings having fun and liking to be with each. We like to do business with people we like.

If you want to see Terry living out his philosophy, watch him this Sunday on Fox. He’ll be there with that giant Louisiana smile, grinning through our TV sets like we are all his buddies watching the game together.

Bradshaw’s speech reminded me that while the Character Triangle has a serious back bone, living it daily can and should be done with fun and laughter. Every interaction starts out better with a smile. I don’t know about you but I need to be reminded of that from time to time.

Live and laugh the Triangle,

Lorne

Smile or Die

201028 Jun
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Posted inBe Abundant

I believe that positive optimism is important in a work place. It is connected to the value of abundance in the sense that one focuses more on the ”have” than “have not.” On the other hand I don’t promote nor believe in blind optimism. Sometimes things are just plain difficult, painful, and lousy. We get hurt, feel bad, and frankly can mistreat or get mistreated by others. These are facts and part of the human condition. How we respond though is often in our control and a choice we can willingly make. Being abundant is the choice to move forward, which often appropriately involves getting help from others. Acclaimed journalist, author and political activist Barbara Ehrenreich provides a measure of balance in acting/thinking realistically while remaining positive.

In the work place we need both: tough minded realism on the status of things; and positive, forward movement in response. They are not mutually exclusive. One thing you can do is to insist on providing and asking for data in reviewing job related matters. Facts keep blind positive thinking and helpless despair in check.

There are two great articles linked in my May 13 blog on smiling too.

with Character,

Lorne

Character Triangle

Our character is exclusively ours. We define it by how we think and what we do. I believe that acting with Character is driven by what I call the Character Triangle.

What, exactly, is the Character Triangle (CT)?

The CT describes and emphasizes three distinct but interdependent values:

Be Accountable: first person action to make things better, avoiding blame.
Be Respectful: being present, listening, looking again, focusing on the process.
Be Abundant: generous in spirit, moving forward, minimizing the lack of.