resolutions | Lorne Rubis

We’re Dying… So Happy New Year?

20131 Jan
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Posted inBe Accountable

Key Point: Do you understand the concept of impermanence and embrace the process of dying? If you do, then it will help you put your New Years objectives in perspective. Nothing except dying is for certain. You and I are currently in the process of dying. We are just not sure about when and how. And of course NOTHING physical is permanent. Everything on Earth we have collected will be left behind as our bodies turn into dust or ashes. And literally everything is constantly in the process of changing. The more we look for peace of mind to come from stubbornly believing that permanence and materiality leads to security, or that material collections really define us, the more we are likely to become very disappointed. Paradoxically the only thing we can actually hold onto is impermanence and death. I believe this is actually a very comforting yet compelling framework.

If we accept that we are in the process of dying and that impermanence is the only certainty, then it provides a basis for honest self-reflection into what’s really important in our lives and “New Year’s resolutions.” Do you live and use your time based on the above premise? What do you spend your time doing or thinking about? Be honest.

Character Moves:

Allow yourself to embrace the idea of dying and to recognize the reality of impermanence as THE foundation for your New Years “resolutions.” Dying is neither to be feared nor trivialized. But working from the “end,” helps us live the best possible way today.
What really counts is what you and I are doing to advance humankind and ourselves. Making our life more simple and getting rid of unnecessary “clutter” also helps us focus on the “right” things.
As you focus on what you want to achieve in 2013, it will be much more rewarding to set resolutions based on what you will achieve in the categories of self enlightenment AND giving of yourself to others. Recognize that compassion must be a way of life because we are ALL dying in a world of impermanence… So, lets be nicer in 2013.
This is a very freeing mindset and puts a lot of daily nonsense into perspective. For example, our bodies we so adore are best when healthy but they are just ever depleting vessels of who we really are.

Dying to be happy in The Triangle and wishing you a truly Happy New Year,

Lorne

Guaranteed Success on Your New Year’s Resolutions!

201210 Jan
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Posted inBe Accountable

Key points for guaranteed success on our New Year’s resolutions:

If you’ve made a formal New Year’s resolution, you’re more likely to make progress on the matter than someone who doesn’t.
If you can make it through January applying your resolution, you have a good chance of progress lasting longer.
With proven strategies and some digital tools you can really increase your odds of success.

The New York Times recently had a great article by Times columnist John Tierney. He and Roy F Baumeister have coauthored “Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength.” Contrary to conventional beliefs, their research supports that you are ten times more likely to change by making a New Year’s resolution than non-resolvers!

Here are the key steps and actions to help you, as determined through Tierney and Baumeister’s research:

Set clear goals (less is more).
Pre-commit; bind yourself to taking action (e.g. put money at risk on your resolution).
Outsource self control by getting help from a support team.
Keep track of your results.
Don’t overreact to a lapse.
Reward yourself on progress often.

Character Move:

In my January 3rd blog I suggested three practical and specific improvement resolutions regarding making progress in applying The Character Triangle (CT). Determine the CT resolution best for you.
Write it down and be very specific in defining the resolution. Make progress clear and measurable.
Apply the support ideas in this blog to help you translate your resolution into a successful habit.

Successful resolutions in The Triangle,

Lorne

2012 Character Triangle Resolutions

20123 Jan
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Posted inCharacter Triangle

Key Point: what are your 2012 Character Triangle resolutions? Commit to these three things (all in your control) and you will make real progress making the Character Triangle have an impact for you and others in 2012 and beyond.

Accountability Resolution: Begin each problem solving meeting in the New Year by describing the issue you want to address for improvement. Start the dialogue by specifically and meaningfully defining FIRST what YOU personally could do to contribute to a resolution. Propose specific ways of how you would go about doing so. THEN ask your teammate(s) to follow suit by having them outline their personal recommendations. Discuss, amend and conclude by connecting each self accountable approach into a joint plan of improvement action.

Respect Resolution: Learn how to use and apply one of the most practical and easy to use listening/problem solving tools and methods. It is called S (situation) T (target) P (proposal): STP. I have had executives tell me years after they have started using it that it remains their most useful tool. Go to my web site www.lornerubis.com and check out the resource section for a quick video tutorial and a PDF explaining how to use it. Or, check out the appendix in “The Character Triangle.” Using STP and the Respect value is reinforced through better listening, dialogue and less negative conflict. Practice the STP until it becomes second nature.

Abundance Resolution: On 30 consecutive working days write a personal note of “thank you” to one person in the company. Be very specific in what behavior you want to say thank you for. Describe what their action meant to others, the company and you in your role. Be timely and spread this across all levels of the company. Schedule this commitment onto your calendar so that you treat this “thank you” activity as a very important meeting.

Commit to the above three actions purposefully and I promise you will see real and measurable positive outcomes.

Three New Year’s Resolutions in the Triangle,

Lorne

Character Triangle

Our character is exclusively ours. We define it by how we think and what we do. I believe that acting with Character is driven by what I call the Character Triangle.

What, exactly, is the Character Triangle (CT)?

The CT describes and emphasizes three distinct but interdependent values:

Be Accountable: first person action to make things better, avoiding blame.
Be Respectful: being present, listening, looking again, focusing on the process.
Be Abundant: generous in spirit, moving forward, minimizing the lack of.