Giving | Lorne Rubis

The Astonishing Gift of Smiling

201120 Dec
Comments3
Posted inBe Abundant

Key Point: In this season of gift giving I want to remind you to give yourself and others a huge gift that scientifically is proven to generate emotional and even material wealth, yet is absolutely free: A SMILE.

Ron Gutman has written a book Smile: The Astonishing Powers of a Simple Act. Please allow yourself 10 minutes to watch the following entertaining video by Gutman on this topic in TED talk. Share it with people you care about. Put in their digital Christmas stocking.

The facts are overwhelming. People, who genuinely smile a lot, live longer, are perceived to be smarter, have less stress, and just do better in life. If you want to review the wealth of studies and research that support this premise, read Gutman’s book. If you want a practical test, just walk around the building you’re in now and observe smiling. Think about the good feeling that is generated when someone just smiles at you. One fact that reinforced this for me is that little kids smile about 400 times a day; we adults a heck of a lot less (see our grandson, right, with his first ice cream cone).

Character Move:

Consciously think about smiling a heck of a lot more. It is free AND has a huge ROI! (Go check the facts if you think this suggestion is just mushy do da.)
Walk in your work area and smile at everyone on the way in the morning. Do the same thing when you leave for the day.
Do not take things so darn seriously. Even the most serious business/work issue is a candidate for a smile. It isn’t usually a life or death matter. So be a strong, tough minded, disciplined leader and just friggin’ smile.

Smile Power in the Triangle,

Lorne

The Old Lady in Purple and The Priest with a Cane. How Do You Score?

20111 Apr
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Posted inBe Abundant

I’m fired up about Guy Kawasaki’s new book Enchantment. Why? It is so darn practical and reinforces the elements of the Character Triangle! As an example, Kawasaki connects trustworthiness and giving. So here is a little reality checklist by Kawasaki to see how much giving is a habit:

Give with pure joy to those that cannot help you. Who did you do that for recently?
Give early to someone well before you need to ask for help back. Your recent example?
Give often and generously; the more you give the more you receive. How are you on this?
Give unexpectedly. Surprise and enjoy without expecting anything in return. And this?
Ask for reciprocation. Occasionally, but not on a transaction basis, ask for a favor in return. This deepens the relationship. Your score?

Character Move: Just Give! Make it a habit. And then do it more. The little old lady in purple that needed some genuine conversation and disabled priest struggling to catch a taxi – these are my wife’s and my little giving examples yesterday. Hope you had some too.

Abundant in the Triangle,

Lorne

Give to Live or Live to Give?

201110 Jan
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Posted inBe Abundant

Giving because we want to and with purpose gives us self gratification and definition.

Over the holiday season it is interesting to observe the act of giving and receiving. I tried to make note of this during the holidays. When people gave without expectation, they seemed to be the most joyful and gratified. When expectations were attached the giving sometimes is compromised by disappointment. If I give a person a gift, how grateful should they be? How much appreciation shown is enough? If I invite guests over for dinner how much should they fuss over how great the meal is? Now I do enjoy it when I obviously (by their sincere reaction) bring delight to others but it seems to be the best to give without expecting anything in return at all. Giving with sincerity and for the purity of giving is all we really need. Any reciprocation is great but unnecessary when we have purpose in mind.

At work the very same principle applies. When we offer help, resources, our time, or encouragement, it is most gratifying when there are no strings attached. We can bring definition to what we value by what we attend to.

Action: I would like to challenge you and me to consciously give recognition to 1 person at work every day through 2011. To make it real let’s post it in our calendars. It can be a simple verbal thank you, an email, a hand written note, etc. Let’s expect zero in return. We need to be specific and genuine in our observation. Let’s see what happens. (This should take less than 120 seconds a day). No excuses. It is belief, purpose, commitment, and habit. If we miss a day, let’s make it up by giving recognition 2 times the next day.

Give in the Triangle,

Lorne

$5 a Day

201023 Jun
Comments0
Posted inBe Abundant

Hi Characters,

Harvard did a study that affirmed that spending $5 dollars a day on others increased people’s sense of self and well being. (According to Dr. Phil June 6, 2010. You can also refer to a study by University of B.C. psychologist Elizabeth Dunn.)

The overall message here of course is that giving is one of the most powerful elements in creating positive well being.

So why do we have such difficulty with this in the work context? We do not literally have to spend $5 dollars on people at work, but we can generate positive well being by giving in small yet meaningful ways. One of these ways is to give encouragement and recognition. When we take the time to observe and acknowledge other people in a positive way, everybody wins.

Tom Peters suggests in his book The Little Big Things, 163 Ways to Pursue Excellence that the positive to negative ratio might be out of balance at work, “A lot of managers have the hardest time giving any positive reinforcement.” So how about you and I commit to spending “five dollars” on each other at work EVERY DAY by recognizing one another in a genuine way. The Return on Investment is fast and bigger than we may realize.

with Character,

Lorne

Character Triangle

Our character is exclusively ours. We define it by how we think and what we do. I believe that acting with Character is driven by what I call the Character Triangle.

What, exactly, is the Character Triangle (CT)?

The CT describes and emphasizes three distinct but interdependent values:

Be Accountable: first person action to make things better, avoiding blame.
Be Respectful: being present, listening, looking again, focusing on the process.
Be Abundant: generous in spirit, moving forward, minimizing the lack of.