Today, October 25,2011, The Character Triangle: Build Character, Have an Impact, and Inspire Others is now available for purchase! Hooray!
To order my book, please click on the “book” tab (above; on the navigation bar at the top of my home page). You can buy the book in any format AND receive a 25% discount by applying the following friends and family discount code - “LRCT”. Please feel free to share this code with anyone who you think might enjoy the book.
What I most care about is that readers apply concepts taken from the book, and as a result improve the well being of themselves and others. I know practicing the Character Triangle as a system WILL build character, have an impact, and inspire others. And that defines success in a very personal and unique way.
Buy and read the Character Triangle.
Practice the principles daily.
Share it with people you care about.
Thank you for celebrating with me. Reading and making the book come alive completes the book. THANK YOU!
The previous three blogs focus on each of the three distinct but interconnected elements of the Character Triangle. The following posts are the Top 4 blogs readers have chosen as the best blogs focusing on the integration of the elements into the whole Character Triangle:
What do you think of someone walking on broken glass, barefoot on Venice Beach?
Why would someone walk barefoot over broken glass? Of course we don’t know unless we asked that person what they were trying to achieve or accomplish and why it is important to them. Listening with understanding is vital to having respect. People come in all shapes and sizes. That is the beauty of diversity. It is important not to assume or judge without really understanding first.
The video below discusses the difference between the standardization on the values of the Character Triangle, while appreciating the uniqueness of individuals.
Venice Beach is a poignant reminder of the richness of diversity living side by side with the standardization of the values of the Character Triangle. Diversity and standardization can co exist.
In my July 21 personal blog I referenced the remarkable percussionist Dame Evelyn Glennie. She teaches the importance and beauty in being ultra sensitive to people’s “vibrations.” The following are some practical tools to help us connect with those vibrations when we have a miscommunication. I’ve drawn them from the recent Harvard Business Review blog written by Peter Bregman, CEO of Bregman Partners, Inc.
“Who is responsible for making the first move to clear up a miscommunication?” Peter’s response, “Whoever sees it first.” I couldn’t agree more. It is not about who is right or wrong or who makes the first move. It is about clearing up the misunderstanding. And as I stress so often, it’s the self accountable thing to do.
“How do we know that there is something deeper going on in a communication process?” Peter’s view is that “tone” is a clue. When the tone of the discussion has an edge to it there is probably something not right. That may seem so obvious but how many times do we just run by that signal? My view is that this is a good time to really be present and try to take in those vibrations Evelyn talks about.
If the other person’s response or view does not seem reasonable, especially when that person is normally reasonable, this is an alarm bell that something deeper is driving the response. Bregman’s advice: “Don’t slam the other person for being unreasonable. And don’t make the mistake of telling that person what they’re really trying to say. Instead, even if you think you know what’s going on, ask a question.” Holy cow… I couldn’t agree more. And don’t ask a patronizing or loaded question. First ask yourself what’s going on and then ask the other person genuinely what is going on; you need to understand their feelings at a much deeper level.
The Respect value of the Character Triangle is based on listening and understanding. At work we come from such different angles and today much of our contact is remote. Fighting for understanding is the best for our team mates and the best for us too. It is however, hard work. It may be easier at the outset to ignore the miscommunication but it has a negative cumulative effect on our relationship. Be self accountable; take the action to address it. Respect means asking a lot of questions for understanding. Bregman gives us a few good practical guides.
The constant in Lorne’s diverse career is his ability to successfully lead organizations through significant change. At US West, where he served as a Vice President / Company Officer, Lorne was one of only seven direct reports ... Read more about Lorne Rubis
Also available at all Hudson News Bookstores in major U.S. airports.
Our character is exclusively ours. We define it by how we think and what we do. I believe that acting with Character is driven by what I call the Character Triangle.
What, exactly, is the Character Triangle (CT)?
The CT describes and emphasizes three distinct but interdependent values:
Be Accountable: first person action to make things better, avoiding blame. Be Respectful: being present, listening, looking again, focusing on the process. Be Abundant: generous in spirit, moving forward, minimizing the lack of.