What can you and I do? What is in our control? At the most basic level, the one thing we can do is set an example by learning and practicing the skills required to participate in conversations when the stakes are high. We have the tools and knowledge, but it also means possessing the will and respect to be open to the possibility that it’s not just “my way or the highway.” We have to be open to the prospect of other views and paths suggesting a better way.

Character Moves:

1. Recognize your worldview is only one. We consciously or subconsciously filter what we see based on our deeply held beliefs. At best, this anchors us. At worst, it closes our minds to possibilities and promotes intellectual dishonesty. This kind of ignorance has contributed to much of our inhumanity. As an example, a movie like Spielberg’s Lincoln, gives us a window into how much we gave to change views on slavery.
2. Commit yourself to learning and practicing how to manage crucial conversations. There are numerous very good models for doing this. Check this out as an example. This is not about how you can learn to convince another person that your view is right, it is about mutually finding a better way to a more desirable state.
3. Learn how to apply this at home and work first. If we can all get better on a “local” level, perhaps we can increase our ability to effectively have crucial conversations on a broader scale. The alternative is to allow the unacceptable to repeat. If we allow that to happen, it’s because we do not have the will, focus and competence to change it for the best. And that is definitely living without character.

Inspired by little angels in The Triangle,

Lorne

I do believe there are key elements that when applied help us navigate changing circumstances. Harvard’s John Kotter is arguably one of the most well regarded change experts and his eight steps include: 

1. Create urgency.

2. Form a powerful coalition.

3. Create a vision for change.

4. Communicate the vision.

5. Remove obstacles.

6. Create short-term wins.

7. Build on the change.

8. Anchor the change in the corporate culture.

Ok… These are all solid considerations and from a top down approach, they make perfect sense. My argument is that in the world we live in, change is a continuous process and NOT an event. Customers, technology, markets, competition, are so tornado-like that the above model may be too pedestrian, top down, and event based. And it misses they key ingredients for change… You, me and how we think. The key to ongoing successful change is the mindset of all people involved in the eco system impacted by changes AND NOT the mythical “center of change management.” Let me work with people who have a propensity for continuous growth and a commitment to creating value and we will work as a system of continuous, proactive change… Not an old, top down, lazy organization, hoping to compel people that change is needed. By the time organizations look to embrace “change” they are likely spiraling towards less relevance and even dissolution. 

Character Move: 

1. Define yourself as a never-ending value creating human, adding worth for everyone (including yourself) on an ongoing basis and you will be constantly evolving. You will more prepared when events around you rock your world… And they surely will! 
2. Do not resist. Determine how to navigate and make changes work for you, regardless of how much it shakes up your routine. Sometimes this means leaving the “system” and starting something else. 
3. Recognize that everything ends some time. Celebrate the best of what you enjoyed about the past and move on. Stop whining, asking, “why is this happening?” Or wishing “they would have done IT better.” If you look closely there is an opportunity waiting. The longer you resist accepting that things have or are changing, the more you will cloud the opportunity. 
4. Enjoy the present but do not stand still. Presence and being static are different. 

Change in the Triangle,

Lorne 

In the world of being more self accountable, sometimes we need “that moment.” It is usually a time where we say to ourselves …enough! I am going to start now. One step at a time but I am resolved to make things better. It is me. I’m the one who can and will do it. There are going to be no more excuses. No one else including me is to blame. But, I’m in charge of myself.  You may recall one of my earlier blogs where Jamie Bruner, the current CEO of Kinetix Living, left the world of being over 300 pounds to become a fitness champ and leading purveyor of nutrition and wellness. He bent over in a restaurant and slit his pants from stem to stern …enough …that moment. Literally, that night the change began. That moment.

Character Move: look for that moment. It’s looking for us. Decide that today or this hour or this minute is going to be the time to start that change. Be accountable. Be honest. Start now.

That Moment in the Triangle,

Lorne

Dan Gilbert is a renowned Harvard psychologist and best-selling author of Stumbling on Happiness.  In a blog entitled What We Don’t Know Makes Us Nervous noted the following:

“A colostomy reroutes the colon so that waste products leave the body through a hole in the abdomen, and it isn’t anyone’s idea of a picnic. A University of Michigan-led research team studied patients whose colostomies were permanent and patients who had a chance of someday having their colostomies reversed. Six months after their operations, patients who knew they would be permanently disabled were happier than those who thought they might someday be returned to normal.”

“Why would we prefer to know the worst than to suspect it? Because when we get bad news we weep for a while, and then get busy making the best of it. We change our behavior, we change our attitudes. We raise our consciousness and lower our standards. We find our bootstraps and tug. But we can’t come to terms with circumstances whose terms we don’t yet know. An uncertain future leaves us stranded in an unhappy present with nothing to do but wait.”

In the current work environment for most of us, regardless of position or tenure, there is very little certainty. In fact I believe uncertainty is the new normal so although Gilbert’s point is valid, we have to accept uncertainty as certainty or we will struggle to find a reasonable level of happiness at work. The antidote is acceptance and understanding that whatever you and I have at work is temporary. We need to savor the moment and continuously prepare for the inevitable change that is around the corner. Connecting back to Gilbert’s earlier point, this means always being in a bootstrap mode regarding our personal development. A backup plan by its existence then gives each of us a little more certainty.

When people come to me in my role as CEO looking for assurance, the only real certainty I can give them is to confirm their belief in the likelihood of material future change is warranted, and to prepare as best as they can. So rather than getting nervous and becoming mesmerized by inevitable change, we all need to get going on our personal development plans to become more sought after and skilled contributors.

Live the Triangle,

Lorne

This is an unsolicited commercial for Kinetix. I’m working to live and apply their system. It is a habit system on the physical side, kind of like the CT is on the behavioral side.

I think Jamie (I’ve met with him several times) and Meagan’s story is so remarkable. They are in many respects like you and I. They have no special super human powers. But they chose to change their situation and are continuing on that journey!

Jamie split his pants and they decided to change their personal situations and to take on obesity head on. Now Howard Shultz, Chairman & CEO of Starbucks, and the world’s biggest companies are starting to get involved with Kinetix. This is such a great story about every aspect of the Character Triangle. So much so that Jamie and Meagan Brunner are the first couple in the Character Hall of Fame.

When did you and I feel that we “split our pants” in public? How did it feel? Most importantly what have we done about it?

The only people who can confront the splitting pants feeling is you and me. That’s the beauty and honesty behind self accountability. It’s up to us and we can do it! Ask Jamie and Meagan. Please read their story. Learn from them and the thousands of people they have influenced. No gimmick. No BS …just applying the CT in every way.

with Character,

Lorne

Leo Babauta has authored a helpful and practical personal blog on the topic of “personal change” in the August 11, 2010 edition of www.zenhabits.com. (One of the most popular blogs on the web )

Leo’s advice for driving personal change:

1. Beat inertia with small, achievable changes (don’t plan on running a marathon, start by walking a mile).
2. Overcome the resistance of others (get people who are negative on your side to cheer lead or spend less time with them… scarcity people get in the way).
3. Find the Joy (you have to find the joy in what you’re doing… if you hate running, find the joy in early crisp mornings, or whatever you like about the experience).
4. Keep the joy alive (find ways of refreshing the joy… e.g. you love the sweat and shower after that run too).
5. Celebrate little victories (brag about the 5 mile walk on Facebook, put the milestone on the fridge, tell people who care about you).
6. Make the change part of your life (it’s much easier to do as part of your routine vs. having to do it as an add on… “this is how I live”).
7. Keep doing it, fail, try again (it is a relentless journey).

To make the Character Triangle a part of you, the same elements of change apply.  It is a continuous process of small victories, set backs, more small steps and victories. And so on. It is a habit system. Before you know it you are way down the progress road.

with Character,

Lorne