Be Respectful

It Is How You Make Them Feel …It Really Is!

20127 Feb
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Key Point: don’t underestimate the importance of the way you make people feel; this is a message is worth repeating.

A friend and colleague founded a very successful company, and for the last 25 years has been the CEO. He told me that he has watched this video numerous times since I published it in my February 18, 2011 blog, and has passed it on to others. That’s a heck of an endorsement. Have you viewed it yet? It is worth watching again.

Character Move:

Take 90 seconds to watch this video.
Do a “how do you make them feel” evaluation of your interactions with the key people in your life and on the job.
It takes courage, but get the feedback directly (use an online survey like Survey Monkey if you want confidential feedback).
Act on the feedback.

Feeling it in The Triangle,

Lorne

Missed Winning Field Goals and Life

201213 Jan
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Key Point: you and I, if we’re lucky, will be in a position to kick a “winning field goal” in work and/or life. We will miss sometimes. It will be heartbreaking. It is how we react and get ourselves ready to kick the next one that’s important. Spending too much time on the past miss will distract us from the next opportunity in front of us.

This year’s college football bowl games have involved kickers missing critical field goals. Even if you are not a sports or football fan, you can likely appreciate the kicker in front of a huge crowd and television audience, falling to his knees in agony after a big miss. After all, the entire team and all fans are impacted by whether the kick goes through the goal posts or not. This year’s kickers who have missed have had to close off their Facebook pages and hide out. Death threats and derision spewed from fans that likely couldn’t kick a ball ten feet as these kickers become posting patsies. Ironically team mates normally are very understanding.

Character Move:

Remember you and I only trip when we’re moving. We are all destined to miss sometimes.
We have to leave behind the misses we make, try to learn, and keep practicing and focused on the next one.
You and I can’t fear failure or it will turn us into the people that want to judge from the sidelines rather than play the game.
Just keep kicking!

Through the goalposts in The Triangle,

Lorne

Bad Bosses are “Stalkers”

20126 Jan
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Key Point: Supervisor abuse generally includes rudeness, public criticism, tantrums, and other inconsiderate actions. And this abuse is proven to cause unreasonable levels of stress at work AND home. If the supervisor shows no or little interest in seriously improving, get out of the relationship as soon as you can. No job is worth this abuse in the long run.

A study from Baylor University, reported in article in the winter 2011 issue of Personnel Psychology, found that the stress and tension caused by an abusive boss at work also filters through to an employee’s personal relationships and ultimately the whole family. When people reported having an abusive boss, their significant other was more likely to report increased relationship tension and family conflict at home. Numerous other studies reinforce this finding. Abusive bosses are “stalkers;” they follow you right to your kitchen table.

Character Move:

Try having a “crucial conversation” with your boss, pointing out abusive behavior. They will demonstrate their commitment to improve through active listening and taking meaningful action to improve.
Determine how and if you can help them self-improve. However they are self-accountable in stopping the abusive behavior. They need to demonstrate improvement.
Do not get caught into a “gripe fest” complaining about the boss’ behavior. This helps no one, least of all you.
Make a plan to get out of the relationship. RESPECT, for yourself and others, is a minimum acceptable requirement in a work environment.

No “stalking” in The Triangle,

Lorne

Respect – 2011 “Best of the Best”

201127 Dec
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As you look back on your experiences in 2011, I encourage you to reflect on how and where you better applied the three values of the Character Triangle: Accountability, Respect, and Abundance. How much have you consciously practiced? Have you recognize how it has helped?

Key Point: The following three blogs on RESPECT are my candidates for “best of the best in 2011”, based on reader interest and feedback regarding the degree they stimulated thought and action. I hope you enjoy reading them again or if you missed any that you find them meaningful. Thanks for being part of the Character Triangle “Tribe.” I hope you will join me again in 2012 for a new and invigorating set of ideas and suggestions as part of the continuous journey of Character Triangle development.

The Rat Challenge this Holiday Season?

Do You Know the Meaning of “Genshai”?

How Do You and I Make People Feel?

Character Move:

Read one or more of the blogs again.
Think about what action you took or will take as a result.
Give me your feedback as to which of the three was your 2011 favorite.
Share them with anyone who might value the message.

Best in the Triangle,

Lorne

Character Triangle

Our character is exclusively ours. We define it by how we think and what we do. I believe that acting with Character is driven by what I call the Character Triangle.

What, exactly, is the Character Triangle (CT)?

The CT describes and emphasizes three distinct but interdependent values:

Be Accountable: first person action to make things better, avoiding blame.
Be Respectful: being present, listening, looking again, focusing on the process.
Be Abundant: generous in spirit, moving forward, minimizing the lack of.