Ride With People in the ‘KNOW’ Not the ‘NO’

Key Point: Do not hang around people who constantly talk in self-defeating and negative ways. All it does is reinforce that you “can’t,” “won’t,” “shouldn’t,” etc. There is such a mindset difference between people committed to YES versus NO. You hear these negative folks start most of their conversations thinking and describing situations in the “NO…” And most often, they’re not in the “KNOW.”

I really appreciated the article in Forbes referencing the great bull rider and rodeo coach Gary Leffew

“Some guys made heroes out of [bulls]. In their mind they become impossible to ride… I tell my students not to hang around with people who make a bull sound impossible, tell you all the reasons why you can’t ride him.” Leffew advises, ‘Walk over to a winner and you ask him about the same bull and he goes, ‘Oh man you got him, that’s one I wanted.’” According to Leffew, 95 percent of people who opt to ride bulls fail at it chiefly because they cannot handle the mental aspect of bull riding.”

I remember being six-years-old and crawling along the ditch to avoid being noticed by our neighbor’s bull. My buddy, who actually was part of the family that owned that bull and I created stories about how fierce this bull was and how if he saw us , he would likely run over and gore us just to get his daily jollies. Of course we were just kids. Still, as noted by Leffew, as adults we often continue with stories in our head that make winning unlikely and even impossible. 

“The goal is to dance with [the bull]. When you are dancing, you become one with the person you are with.” Same with bull riding. As Leffew told Caitlin Ryan for the blog The Last Word, ‘You’re so mentally in tune with [the bull] you go there together… The rankest bulls I ever rode… Were always the easiest rides.’

Meditation is core to Leffew’s teaching. Students learn to meditate so they can prepare themselves mentally along with preparing themselves physically through their technique. His school has groomed more than a dozen World Champions. ‘If you’re willing to suffer through the temporary setbacks, there’s nothing you can’t achieve,’ says Leffew.”

Character Moves:

  1. Beware of and honestly acknowledge how deep your negative self-talk is. You might try and trick yourself by “shouting out or over” what’s being whispered in your mind. For example, when you tell yourself, “Can’t,” “won’t “, “you suck,” “you will strike out.” Noticing this very deep negative self-talk is half the battle. Now do something to change it!!!! 
  2. Meditate and imagine. If you’re like me, I’m thinking about this more than doing it. I’m committed to become much, much better at mindfulness. Regardless where you are in your career/life… Don’t wait any longer. Learn how to prepare mentally through practiced meditation and imagining/using imagery… All the senses. (Bet you’re nodding yes but your mind is saying, “You don’t have time.”)  
  3. Look for your personal triggers that indicate you’re likely in an unhelpful mental state… For example, giving someone a digit in traffic, lost in space while someone is talking to you, or rushing and making mistakes in a frantic moment, etc. You might be there because of some “bull’s reputation” driving you into “NO” and “Can’t.” Dance with that bull!!! 

Knowing the bull in The Triangle,

Lorne

One Millennial View: I wanted to start a podcast at my company with a co-worker, where we’d candidly discuss the the entertainment news, and our opinions as reporters/producers. It was going to be light hearted, and really fired us up because it would be a fun, new adventure. After a dry run, it was immediately scrapped. We got a “no,” and I’m not so sure anyone even listened. They were worried about content, budget, corporate representation, and other issues that in all honesty weren’t even real problems. (We asked for no extra money, and would put in added time if needed). But, higher ups were so scared; it was easier to immediately say “no,” instead of advancing with positive discussion and execution. In my opinion, that podcast could even be monetarily successful at this point if we just gave it a try. It’s a darn shame when a “no” causes a potentially good ride to never leave the gate. I’d rather get bucked off in less than eight seconds than not hold tight and saddle up.

– Garrett

Edited and published by Garrett Rubis

One Comment
  1. Vivek Joshi says:

    #2 above is spot on, Lorne. Not that #1 and #3 are not, but I see #2 as something that most people would identify with; and that would likely cause them to re-read the post (a good thing).

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