| Lorne Rubis

Learning to Lose Like an Olympic Athlete

201231 Jul
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Posted inBe Abundant

Key Point: There are far more “losers” than winners at the Olympics. Of course in the grand scheme of life, and even according to the Olympic code, there are no losers among these elite, world-class athletes… But learning to lose is a very important part of a competitor’s development process. And not all these top athletes will handle losing and the disappointment of not winning a medal very well. Jason Dorland, a Canadian rower was part of the 1988 eight man rowing crew that came in sixth in Seoul, South Korea after winning the gold at the previous Olympics. The country was vocal about being let down. Dorland went into a negative funk and when he returned to rowing a year later, he focused on anger, revenge, fear of losing and redemption. That motivation didn’t work and his comeback fizzled out. In his book Chariots and Horses: Life Lessons from an Olympic Rower, Dorland addresses losing and winning. So, how does this apply to the work place?

I have seen people really struggle with “losing” at work. Most of us will run into hurdles and disappointments in our career. How will we react when we hit the wall? Or fall from a perch? Some of us might become bitterly disappointed when we don’t get the promotion we think we deserve. As an example, the elusive Vice President title has caused a lot of deep angst. And sometimes a negative attitude becomes norm. Do you lose well?

Character Move:

The key to losing well is rededicating oneself to doing the best work ever and increasing our personal performance. Having a clear purpose and mission regarding our contribution is more important than wanting to show others that they are wrong.
It is important to let go of any “negative” motivation. Pouting, blaming, hating, and wanting to pummel our competitors will likely minimize rather than increase our chances of success. It is about creating value and not just beating someone else.
Ironically, focusing on the journey and contribution/value we create will likely propel us to what we want. We have to fail to get better. Accept that where you are is just a temporary stop or detour.
The importance of the journey is to never really arrive. Winning is about continuous self-development and much more important than beating someone else or getting revenge. Accept set backs as learning milestones and go forward.

Losing well in The Triangle,

Lorne

Are You a Child or Peer?

201227 Jul
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Posted inBe Accountable

Key Point: Have you ever had a boss who just treated you like you were an inferior and expendable commodity? How did it feel? Are you treated with respect as a peer or does your boss treat you like a child? Weak leaders see their employees as inferior “subordinates” who really can’t be trusted. These “parent” bosses believe most workers need to be watched carefully because they might be ripping the company off. They have all kinds of subtle or blatantly obvious systems and policies to catch people doing the wrong things. The by-product of this approach is often a culture where employees learn how to play the game. They quickly find ways to expend energy on making sure “superiors” see them busy, doing exactly what they’re told and/or covering their behinds. So, are you a child or peer?

You would think that in 2012 all associates would be treated as peers. Of course we all have bosses and there is a hierarchy of authority but great leaders expect EVERY person to be a valued contributor and treat them that way. When a leader inspires an associate by creating an environment of purpose, expected excellence and contribution, most of us rise to the occasion BECAUSE we want to belong and be a valued “player.” When treated with respect as a valued colleague most of us embrace self-accountability and are motivated to have a positive impact.

Character Moves:

Treating associates at every level as a vital person in the organization chain is key to making the workplace great. If not, why would they be there?
Really engage people’s thinking and listen. If you’re a boss and spending way more time telling versus asking; you are likely out of balance and patronizing. As the boss your job is to optimize the contribution and skills of all and not to be the fountain of all brilliance and wisdom. If people start agreeing with every thing you say… That is a danger sign that you’re a “mom or dad,” more than a leader.
Recognize that valued contribution is more important than punching the time clock. The most important thing is not whether someone’s car is the first or last in the parking lot. What’s more important is the value provided in exchange for total compensation. Clock watching management has no value. If someone is not showing up when and where they’re needed, expectations are not clear or the person does not have the right mindset.
Challenge the dumb things we do to continue the parent-child relationship we have institutionalized in organizations. Expect self-accountability… Expect mutual awesomeness.

Peers in The Triangle,

Lorne

BE AWARE… Of Yourself

201224 Jul
Comments1
Posted inBe Accountable

Key Point: How important is the skill of self-awareness? So many pundits, including me, have written about it. To be able to develop and grow as people and leaders we need self-understanding. What are we feeling? Why? What motivates us? What defines our values? What framework do we use for problem solving and decision-making? In their new book Heart, Smarts, Guts, and Luck: What It Takes to Be an Entrepreneur and Build a Great Business, Anthony K. Tjan, Richard J. Harrington, and Tsun-Yan Hsieh demonstrate that self-awareness is one quality that trumps all, and they claim it is evident in virtually every great entrepreneur, manager, and leader. So of if we know self-awareness is so important, what do we do to better promote and develop it? Do you have a framework and plan of doing so? The authors of the above book believe the trinity of better self-awareness is: Know thyself, improve thyself, and complement thyself. I support this model.

1. Know yourself better by testing yourself more. There are many solid tests, with tons of validity to help us know better who we are. Tests like Myers-Briggs, Predictive Index, and StrengthsFinder, Colors Personality Inventory, all facilitate self-reflection, which leads to better self-awareness. The above noted authors recently developed the Entrepreneurial Aptitude Test (you can take it here) which measures how one stacks up in the four key traits that drive business and entrepreneurial success: Heart, Smarts, Guts, and Luck. I plan on developing one for The Character Triangle. The point is that it is hard enough to know ourselves and this battery of tests really helps us better understand our strengths and shortcomings.

2. Consciously watch yourself and learn. In the organization I’m CPO at, we are at the forefront of using videotape for learning leadership improvement, the way the sports industry has for years. There is nothing more riveting than watching yourself conduct some leadership initiative on video. Sports coaches have broken down film for years. We need to look at our own leadership in action as well. But there is also much we can do without technological help. As an example, it is my understanding that Warren Buffett, has made it a habit for years to write down the reasons why he is making an investment decision and later look back to see what went right or wrong. And as I’ve noted many times in previous blogs, open and honest reviews by peers and others provides a key mirror to who we are perceived to be. We need outside eyes to help us see ourselves better.

3. Be aware of others. When our self-awareness of what drives others is sharp, we can increase self-enlightenment. Having the right complement of people and a supportive learning organization allows us to clearly see what we do well and what others do well. The more we understand what motivates others improves our ability to recognize matters about ourselves and hence more self-development.

Character Move:

Make self-awareness a priority in our developmental journey. Have a self-awareness learning framework to help you.
Take a few personality tests and work with others to better understand the self-insights from them. Do not be afraid of the results. They are not judgmental. See if you can determine how key others you work with would fit into one or more of the core behavioral buckets.
Find a way to get video taped in a variety of environments and watch what you learn about yourself. This is the ultimate self-awareness vehicle if your company signs up for it!
Work at it! Self-reflection and the related reward of self-awareness cannot be thought of as ” fluff,” passive exercises, new age meditation, or mushy science. They’re absolutely essential. As the authors in Hearts, Smarts, etc point out; there is a reason why the starting point in rehabilitation programs is being aware enough to admit you have a problem. It’s the same case in business leadership and personal development.

BE SELF AWARE in the Triangle,

Lorne

Do You Mine for Gold Like a Top CEO?

201220 Jul
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Posted inBe Respectful

Key Point: One in four leaders get feedback in their 360 reviews that they could be better listeners. I have noticed over and over again that many people come to meetings and never take notes (electronically or hard copy). I often wonder and am amazed because they must have exceptional memories. How are they so skilled at absorbing the essence of a presentation/conversation? As an example, it used to drive me bananas when sales people showed up to sales development programs without having anything to take notes. How could they possibly capture the key learning’s without writing them down and reflecting upon them? What tools and techniques do you use to improve your listening skills? See below:

The following is from the above HBR “better listeners” blog:

“I saw how Larry Bossidy, former CEO of Honeywell, do the following: Sitting down with a business unit leader presenting him with information about a $300 million dollar technical investment opportunity, Bossidy divided a sheet of paper about three-quarters across. On the larger left side of the paper, he scribbled detailed notes; on the smaller right side, he occasionally jotted down two or three words, capturing what he perceived to be the key insights and issues being brought to his attention. It was a simple technique that disciplined him to listen intently for the important content and focus follow-up questions on points that really mattered. Whether or not this is your method, you should train yourself to sift for the nuggets in a conversation. Then let the other person know that they were understood by probing, clarifying, or further shaping those thoughts. The benefits of this go beyond ensuring that you heard it right: First, the person on the other end of the conversation will be gratified that you are truly grasping the essence of their thoughts and ideas; second, this gratification will motivate and energize them to create more thoughts and solutions. Listening opens the door to truly connecting and is the gateway to building relationships and capability.”

Character Move:

Have a technique that sifts for listening nuggets! Write them down. Review the nuggets with the people who you are in discussion with. Connect with the other(s) by demonstrating understanding.
Practice improving listening skills everyday. Develop listening techniques that work for you. This practice is a life and relationship enhancer.
Really listening is like mining for gold. It takes continual sifting to find the nuggets. And like gold, solid listening increases the richness in relationships.

Sifting for gold in The Triangle,

Lorne

Character Triangle

Our character is exclusively ours. We define it by how we think and what we do. I believe that acting with Character is driven by what I call the Character Triangle.

What, exactly, is the Character Triangle (CT)?

The CT describes and emphasizes three distinct but interdependent values:

Be Accountable: first person action to make things better, avoiding blame.
Be Respectful: being present, listening, looking again, focusing on the process.
Be Abundant: generous in spirit, moving forward, minimizing the lack of.