Key Point:

Two top notch leadership gurus reinforce the Self Accountability concept: Marshall Goldsmith and Dr. John Izzo. Goldsmith was recently recognized as the No. 1 leadership thinker and the No. 7 business thinker in the world at the bi-annual Thinkers50 Ceremony sponsored by the Harvard Business Review. Dr. Izzo recently released his sixth book, Stepping Up: How Taking Responsibility Changes Everything. John’s book shows how stepping up and being self accountable is good for your career, the workplace, and one’s overall well being. The following is an excerpt from Marshall’s blog, interviewing Izzo, in the Huffington Post:

 MG: What is Stepping Up and why is it the right book for our time?

JI: Stepping Up is seeing a need and deciding you are the person who can, should and will do something about it. We live in a time when we face so many problems such as poverty and climate change can only be solved when each of us steps up in our sphere of influence to create change. What’s more victim thinking has become pervasive in our society with everybody pointing a finger at someone else as the source of the problem. What we need are people at work and in communities who step up and decide they are going to create change.

MG: ”It’s not my job,” “it was someone else’s fault,” “she needs to change,” and “someone should do something about this or that,” are phrases that you hear often. What is the impact on a person’s career and life when those words become the norm?

JI: Research shows that people who focus on what they can change rather than the external forces that influence them are more successful, less stressed and happier than those who feel like victims. What’s more we can’t fix anything but ourselves, so the moment we focus on what someone else needs to do we lose our power. In the book I suggest that every time you find yourself saying “someone else should do something about… ” you should instead ask, “What can I do about this?” It’s as true in a relationship as it is in a company or a community.

MG: You say stepping up is good for your career but a lot of people believe that people who stick their necks out at work get their heads cut off. Yet you share some fascinating research that suggests the opposite is actually true.

JI: The myth at work is that speaking up and challenging things will get you in trouble. But in the book I show research that shows that the opposite is true. People who speak up and challenge the status quo by bringing constructive ideas for change are rated more highly by their managers and are more likely to get promoted. But there is a caveat. People who finger point and blame are rated poorly so the key is to be what I call a “constructive irritant.” Speak up with ideas rather than blame and always begin by saying “here is what I will do.” Those are the kind of people who get ahead.


Character move:

1. Challenge yourself to “step up” at work. Are you really stepping up? Bring constructive ideas and act on them for change and improvement.
2. Do not blame or point fingers (as seductive as it is). Just work off your personal foundation. Step up on what you can control and influence.
3. Remember that good bosses want and appreciate constructive help. It is good for your career and personal development.
4. Reread chapter one from The Character Triangle (now carried by Hudson Booksellers at major airports). Watch videos of some of the people Izzo and team feature in the book Stepping Up. Read anything by Marshall Goldsmith.

Stepping it up in The Triangle,

Lorne

Sometimes the best thing one can write is already written. The above quote is by journalist and self proclaimed “wrongologist,” Kathryn Schulz from her wonderful presentation on the topic of “regret” as captured in the TED Talks series. It is 17 minutes long but really worth the watch.

Research shows, as pointed out by Ms. Schulz in her presentation, that the biggest areas of regret are around education, career, and relationships.

Recently I have had to focus on my career journey and of course I have regrets. I still feel pain when I reflect on them. But I genuinely have come to understand how imperfect I am and how important working on my flaws has contributed to my personal growth. My regrets have made me a better person. There are documented stages to the psychology of regret and essentially, as Schulz points out, they include denial, bewilderment, and self punishment. They often play like a broken record, over and over and over again.

My challenge has sometimes been the latter part of the regret process: Replaying a continuous loop, essentially calling myself out with unkind self blame… Something like, “how could you be so stupid?” Over the years I’ve become much better at accepting and making peace with my regrets and STOPPING the replay. It is unreasonable and perhaps not even right to just forget or pretend the past is the past. But it is even more important to accept, learn and not hate ourselves for our regrets. We need to make peace with regret!

Character move:

1. Apply the make peace strategy as neatly captured by thegraphicrecorder.com
2. Remember that many, many people have made the same or similar mistakes, have the ability to laugh at ourselves and our humanness (not because what we did was likely funny), and allow time to add perspective and learning. Regret is a benchmark for getting better.

Peace with regret in The Triangle,

Lorne

I have been fortunate to be part of some great teams. There is a palpable “buzz” that comes from the “hive” when the team is really working well together. I have felt the “hum” on a team bench, inside of a locker room, and in the board room. Everybody has a role and clear contribution. Each member is expected to do their part and people have each other’s back. Banter and well timed humor rings off the walls even when working on the most serious of matters. The feeling is so good it makes one feel almost euphoric. Trust is high. The team learns HOW to communicate with each other. You just know the team will win. Our challenge is to better understand, develop and replicate great team process and methodology.

MIT’s Alex “Sandy” Pentland and his team at The Human Dynamics Laboratory, are exploring new mathematical driven methodologies on team building by having research participants using wearable electronic sensors called sociometric badges. Note the following from the Harvard Business Review blog entitled “The Hard Science of Teamwork.”

“According to our data, it’s as true for humans as for bees: HOW we communicate turns out to be the MOST important predictor of team success, and as important as all other factors combined, including intelligence, personality, skill, and content of discussions. The old adage that it’s not what you say, but how you say it, turns out to be mathematically correct.

Just how powerful these patterns of communication are can be surprising. For example, we can predict with eerie precision whether a team will perform well or not, and we can predict with a high rate of success whether or not team members will report they’ve had a “productive” or “creative” day based solely on the data from the sociometric badges. If this seems like a statistical parlor trick, it’s not. By adjusting group behavior based on this data, we’ve documented improved teamwork.”

Pentland’s data shows that great teams:

“Communicate frequently. In a typical project team a dozen or so communication exchanges per working hour may turn out to be optimum; but more or less than that and team performance can decline.

Talk and listen in equal measure, equally among members. Lower performing teams have dominant members, teams within teams, and members who talk or listen but don’t do both.

Engage in frequent informal communication. The best teams spend about half their time communicating outside of formal meetings or as “asides” during team meetings, and increasing opportunities for informal communication tends to increase team performance.

Explore for ideas and information outside the group. The best teams periodically connect with many different outside sources and bring what they learn back to the team.”

Character move:

1.  Observe HOW your team communicates. Recognize that “HOW” the team communicates is the most important predictor of success.
2.  Determine communication process against the following criteria as noted above: Frequency, balance, informal, and outside learning. Learn more on these from Pentland’s research.
3.  Continue to practice “crucial or fierce ” conversation skills as emphasized in previous blogs.
4.  Remember that how you make people feel when you communicate is a vital part of great team and individual dialogue.
5.  Improving team work involves process, and methodology. Good science can guide and accelerate our success. Develop your team development methodology. Practice getting better.

Team Buzz in The Triangle,

Lorne

Key point:

Upon recently leaving the company I was CEO at for almost eight years, I wrote a farewell note to all team members and thanked them for trusting me at the helm. Trust was their gift to me. They were always there to encourage me in success and pick me up when I failed. It is a privilege to be in a leadership position and one can’t be optimally effective without having the trust of the entire team. To develop additional insight on the trust challenge read the following Harvard Business Review blog by Linda Hill and Kent Lineback, authors of Being the Boss: The 3 Imperatives for Becoming a Great Leader.

Their HBR blog focuses on two significant components of trust; competence and character.

“For people to trust you as a boss, they must believe in your competence to know what to do as a boss. At one time or another, we’ve all had bosses whom people said, “he doesn’t know the business” or “she doesn’t understand what we do.” No one would trust you to do brain surgery because you’re incompetent in that context…

Character is equally important. It refers to your intentions, what you’re trying to do, your goals and values as a boss. If, for example, people think you’re only out for yourself, driven by blind ambition, and don’t care about them, the group, or the work, they will distrust your character, no matter how much you know.”

Character move:

1.  Be aware and present regarding your competence and character “score” as it relates to trust.
2. To reinforce competence fully engage the expertise around you. People don’t expect you to know everything, but understanding how and why you make decisions and the extent to which you make that clear to all parts of the organization is a vital trust element.
3. Work on and continue to develop your character. This is what The Character Triangle is all about. However, we’re not perfect. People know we will make mistakes. They will help us be true to our values if we truly care about them in the most genuine way. Remember that you live in a fish bowl and every act, big or small, connects to define our character.

Trust in the Triangle,

Lorne

It is really interesting to be back interviewing for a job after eight years of being a CEO of an international, privately held, profitable company.  I am, by business card criteria, very accomplished. I have CEO and president in my title, three times. COO once, and VP three times. I also have the titles of “founder” and “partner.” I might as well have the title of “Supreme Intergalactic Commander.” The reality is that people who are interviewing me only care a little about those titles. However, they are laser fixed on my ability to demonstrate how I solved problems and achieved results. And they are very sophisticated in separating wheat from chaff.

 Character Move:

1.  Wherever you are in your career/ job, document problems solved and results achieved. Do it as you go, not after you have left.
2. Develop a “value offered card” more than a “business title card.” Be great at a few things… Benchmark to be the very best. Practice, practice, practice, and ten years later, few will have your results and skill. This will hopefully allow you to monetize the equity you have built in yourself. (Think ahead… Is anyone going to care about what core skills you currently have a few years from now?)
3. Most of us are NOT great at everything. Be honest about areas that are not strengths. However, let’s commit to being THE best at what we’re good at and like to do.
4. Someone out there likely needs what you are good at and like to do. That value, in the western capitalistic society we live in, usually is expressed in monetary terms. For example, the value we bring to the largest group who needs/wants what we have to offer, usually results in the biggest monetary pay out.
5. Build a value card more than a business card.

Value card in the Triangle,

- Lorne

The following summarizes Emmons’ (August 2011) findings regarding the benefits to people who score high on the gratitude scale:

1. Well-Being: Grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism and lower levels of depression and stress. The disposition toward gratitude appears to enhance pleasant feelings more than it diminishes unpleasant emotions. Grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life.
2. Prosociality: People with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathetic and to take the perspective of others. They are rated as more generous and more helpful by people in their social networks.
3. Spirituality: Grateful people are more likely to acknowledge a belief in the interconnectedness of all life and a commitment and responsibility to others. Gratitude does not require religious faith, but faith enhances the ability to be grateful.
4. Materialism: Grateful individuals place less importance on material goods. They are less likely to judge their own and others success in terms of possessions accumulated. They are less envious of others and are more likely to share their possessions.

Character move:

1.  Practice being grateful by consciously identifying what and who we are grateful for.
2. Get into the habit of writing down what and who we are grateful for on a daily basis. If daily feels like too much, try it once a week.
3. Be careful of the negative outcome of having a loss aversion bias. Let’s put wins and losses in perspective. If you focus on loss and lack, that’s what you’re likely to experience.
4. Have fun being grateful. e.g. When grateful for what someone might do for you, tweet them a beer ….See Tweet-A-Beer.
5. Read Abundance by Peter H. Diamandis and Steven Kotler. It makes us more hopeful for the future!

Gratitude in the Triangle ,

Lorne

A lot of people have asked me about what I think makes a truly great communicator. One thing I’ve always emphasized in responding, is the importance of remembering how you make people feel. However to make people feel a positive connection with you, PRESENCE is vital.  I recently ran across an iconic article written by Christopher von Baeyer entitled “The Power of Presence.” The following is the essence captured in 4 key elements:

1. PRESENT: The ability to be centered and aware in each moment of communication.
2. REACHING OUT: The ability to build and sustain an authentic relationship with one’s audience.
3. EXPRESSIVE: The ability to communicate dynamically and congruently with voice, body, mind and emotion.
4. SELF-KNOWING: The ability to reflect upon and leverage one’s unique identity as a person and a professional.

If you have consistent feedback and a validated understanding how to really apply the big 4 above, you’re probably a darn good people connector. If not , I suggest you learn more about about how to develop yourself more in this area . It is a never ending development journey. (By the way, great companies like The Boston Consulting Group, put leaders through days of training on this capability.)

Character move:

1. Recognize that developing an authentic personal communication system is something each of us can develop. It is a skill system and not just something we’re born with or not. We have to work at it.
2. Determine where you are relative to each of the 4 principles and pick ONE thing to work on (e.g.working at appropriate eye contact, remembering people’s names and something about them, finding our voice, etc.)
3.  Remember that at the end of every interaction, people will remember how you made them feel over everything else.

4. Make the ability to be a great communicator and people connector one of your core skills.

Be PRESENT in The Triangle,

- Lorne

Key Point: each of us needs to continuously develop ourselves regardless of the positions we have in any organization. The TED talk series is a superb and efficient vehicle for personal development. Schedule and watch the top 20 in the month of March!

Online Universities has done a wonderful job of capturing 20 essential TED talks for personal leadership development.

Character Move:

1. Review the Top 20 essential TED talks for leaders by clicking on the Online Universities link above.
2. Schedule time in March to watch the ten videos that interest you the most and treat each as a top priority meeting. Do not cancel! You and your personal development are priorities.
3. Journal in your mobile phone, tablet or laptop one important thing you learned from each, and the action(s) you can take as a result. (If you haven’t already done so, consider starting a personal development folder of lessons you’ve learned.)
4. At the end of March review what you’ve learned and actions you’ve taken as a result of watching the TED Talks videos.
5. Share your learnings with others.

TED and your development in The Character Triangle,

Lorne

Most of us have heard of the concept of learning from our mistakes. But, do we really embrace and understand that concept? Richard Rohr in his challenging book entitled Falling Upward makes this difficult point: any attempt to engineer your own enlightenment is doomed to being incomplete because it is ego driven. That is, we are choosing where to focus our improvement. But when we really fail and face humiliation, we are forced to look where we haven’t or have preferred not to. When we are open to looking in our darkest more hidden areas, real profound learning emerges. This becomes real self improvement; not just reading about it.

Leaving involves stepping out of our comfort zone. Sometimes we choose to leave an affiliation. At other times the change is not our choice. But, leaving always involves the opportunity of letting go of validations, smallness, securities, and even hurts that limit us. It is the time for renewal. Some believe that leaving is when the greatest personal development occurs.

Character Move:

1. Embrace failure and recognize it is going to happen to every one of us, and likely more than once.
2. Use failure as a mirror. Look and learn where you normally might not see. Accept and let it make you more authentic.
3. Embrace leaving and rejoice in the ability to renew. Yes it will be uncomfortable. But everything ends. Move on and know that you will develop if your mind set is open to renewal.
4. Recognize that relative to failure and loss, you don’t really have a choice. Both will happen. As the saying goes “God comes disguised as your life.” It is the way we chose to react and move forward that allows us to “fall upward” as Rohr so wonderfully describes.

Falling upward in the Triangle,

Lorne