1. Austen teaches us through the character Emma that moral responsibility means taking responsibility for the little world (what’s in our immediate control) not the big world. It means taking responsibility for ourselves!
2. Pride and Prejudice, though the character Elizabeth, reinforces that growing up is about the character and conduct we embrace when learning from our mistakes. We are born with a whole novel of mistakes in front of us. How we are self-accountable and learn from them is most important.
3. In the novel Mansfield Park, Jane Austen teaches us that love is a verb not a noun. Her story weaves and reinforces the concept of usefulness and value to other. In conclusion she reinforces that people’s stories are the most thing people have. Subsequently paying attention and listening to people’s stories is one of the most important things we can do for them.

Character Move:

1. The world’s best literature, from Austen to Shakespeare, has wonderful lessons for us. Let’s give ourselves time to read and learn from them. This is almost counterintuitive to the fast paced world of the web and other media.
2. Jane Austen’s conveyance of the importance of applying self-accountability, respect, and abundance flows through all of her novels and their rich characters. Recognize that there is something powerful to learn from the characters in novels and other media that passes the test of time.

Yesterday I walked past Jane Austen’s former home and through Sydney gardens where she famously walked daily. It made the sense of her work, which I once dismissed as “fluff,” now feel authentically very meaningful.

Love is a verb in Jane Austen’s Character Triangle,

Lorne

Many of us are pissed off at the banking system and at being stuck in our current (and apparently worsening) economic malaise. We know there was no constructive value built into making credit available in irresponsible ways and making the system sick with obtuse financial products that few could even understand. Financial institutions hid and shifted costs from each other for profit and greed until it all fell apart. It wasn’t authentically sustainable. Many of us participated directly or indirectly and are now living with the consequences.

In his thought provoking book the The New Capitalist Manifesto: Building a Disruptively Better Business Umair Haque challenges the current industrial model and challenges business to ensure our products and services result in tangible, positive benefits to each other. Read the book to gain insight into how that $/€/£ 3.00 burger may really cost us ten times that much. (…I love burgers…) Umair is a capitalist but really gets readers thinking about whether the principles under which many of us operate continue to serve us well.

Character Move:  most of us can’t control much of the macro economy, but you and I have control over what we do regarding our daily actions:

1. Do our daily actions add to the well being of others? How?
2. Are you and I metaphorical equivalents of a gas guzzling, road hogging Hummer?  (i.e. “It’s about us.”)Clear the road baby!
3. How do we make a tangible lasting difference by authentically adding value? I’m not talking about saving whales… Just you and I CONSCIOUSLY adding “better” to others in our daily interactions.

Being big and juicy – being BETTER – in the Triangle,

Lorne

I’m not talking about BIG things here; how about the small stuff that leads to the big stuff? …greeting team members with a smile and personal acknowledgment? …getting to personally know people outside of our immediate area? …having fun and hoopla in the work environment? The preceding things require the investment of care and intention for each other. In most cases acting on them is totally FREE if we want it to be. So the recession and related impacts can become a big lazy excuse for not taking care of each other. It’s all too easy to have work become just a place of commercial or political transactions. When we spend as much time at work as we do, who wants just that? Great teams are full of life and energy. They have fun together. They respect each other. They recognize that collective success is based on connected, vibrant, individual contribution – the weakest link concept.

Character Move: honestly evaluate yourself on the following, regardless of what role you have in the company or organization you’re part of:

1. Do you greet people with a respectful acknowledgment when you interact, even just passing by? Do you know their names and something about them personally? That is to say: what they like to do, what they’re good at and the contribution they make to the company.
2. In your sphere of influence (regardless of how small or big), do you influence fun and hoopla? Do you: Bringing in cupcakes? Having a pot luck? Having contests? Sports pools? Baby picture contests? Cube decorating? Birthday celebrations? Anniversary celebrations? And 100s of much more creative ideas?
3. If you want to get blown away look at the “free” stuff great companies like Zappos do?

Sometimes we all need a good kick in the pants. This blog is everyone’s, at every level of responsibility. If respect and fun are left to the HR department or any other function, my belief firmly establishing these principles will not become deeply and permanently embedded in the corporate culture. We need to care for each other and to have fun.

Respect and Fun daily in the Triangle,

Lorne

In his fabulous book “Aspire: Discovering Your Purpose through the Power of Words” author Kevin Hall talks about the concept of inspiration in one of his chapters. In it he refers to a remarkable quadriplegic named Art Berg. When Art was 21 he got into an accident and became permanently paralyzed from the neck down. After some time of darkness and feeling total helplessness, Art became inspired by the poem Invictus, written by William Ernest Henley. The last stanza reads as follows:

It matters not how straight the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul

Art went on to do all the things he aspired to: marriage, family, author and most of all, becoming one of the most sought after and inspirational speakers in the country. He even helped the Baltimore Ravens win the Super Bowl. One word is inscribed on that team’s super bowl ring – Invictus

Character Move: recognize that we all need inspiration from other human beings. Reach out to someone who really inspires you. Learn what they did or do, their habits to drive their purpose and contributions in life. Apply those lessons to our own where and how we can. Many of these people are just like you and me. The remarkable ones turn purpose into habit and positively impact everyone they touch. Who inspires you? Why?

Also we each can be an inspiration to others. If we resolve to leave every person who meets us better because of it, we are an inspiration. Who have you inspired? Why?

Inspiration is a two way street. We learn and get fired up from others. We pass it on to those who know us.

Most of us have a very short 90 or so years to live on this earth. Why not inspire and be inspired? Have an impact!

Inspiration in the Triangle,

Lorne

Tony Schwartz is the Performance Expert and CEO of The Energy Project, which is devoted to helping people and organizations improve sustainable performance, in large part by more systematically exercising self-control. They have found in their work that the skill at self-regulation creates huge competitive advantage. Over the years, they have learned that nearly everything people tend to believe about self-control is wrong. Tony‘s work on this subject emphasizes that, “Most of us assume the only way to resist our impulses, or persevere under pressure, is to grit our teeth, furrow our brows, steel our nerves, and tough it out. Precisely the opposite is true.”

Schwartz exclaims that human energy is the fuel for self-control. He goes on to state in a recent HBR blog, “We each have one reservoir of energy to get things done. Each act that requires self-control progressively depletes this energy reservoir, whether it’s when you use it to resist a piece of cake, or focus single-mindedly on a difficult problem, or stay calm when you feel provoked.”

Schwartz and his colleagues believe that there are three ways to influence self-control by better managing our energy:

1. We can intentionally increase the energy available to us
2. Use the energy we have more efficiently
3. More regularly and intentionally renew our energy.

Character Move: In order to reinforce self-accountability it is important for each of us to learn more about personal energy management. This includes practicing individual physical intelligence management (nutrition, exercise, and sleep) and emotional intelligence management (building a habit system and applying energy resourcefully). A good place to start is The Energy Project; Schwartz and his group has tremendous breakthrough insight on this topic.

Energy in the Triangle,

Lorne

Father Judge was the first recorded death from the attacks that morning. His life’s work is a loving foundation for the tenth anniversary commemorations of the 9/11 attacks: peace, tolerance and reconciliation. One of the first vigils held this year was in honor of Father Mychal. About 300 people gathered last Sunday in front of the St Francis Church where Judge lived and worked, just down the block from the ladder 24/engine 1 firehouse. The march followed Father Mychal’s final path to Ground Zero.

A fellow a Franciscan, Fr. Michael Duffy, gave the eulogy of Father Mychal, ten years ago and a few days after 9/11. The following is an excerpt: (read the entire eulogy here).

” He would say to me once in a while, “Michael Duffy” –– he always called me by my full name –– “Michael Duffy, you know what I need?” And I would get excited because it was hard to buy him a present.

And so, this morning we come to bury Mike Judge’s body but not his spirit. We come to bury his mind but not his dreams. We come to bury his voice but not his message. We come to bury his hands but not his good works. We come to bury his heart but not his love. Never his love.” 



Character Move: Simply reflect on how Mychal Judge is a metaphor of The Character Triangle. He died in the act of being self-accountable, respected every human he interacted with, and embodied abundance through his joy in daily practice: the happiest man on earth.

Then ask yourself what you want your eulogy to say.

Two hands holding a bouquet in The Triangle,

Lorne

The following CNN story by Asieh Namdar underscores the essence of this way of thinking and acting, becoming Superheroes of Kindness.

At one preschool in Missoula, Montana, the students turn into superheroes for a few days each month. These superheroes can’t fly and don’t fight monsters, but they do wear capes.

Instead, they are “Superheroes of Kindness,” and they are learning that they are never too young to make a difference by cleaning up their neighborhood, visiting senior citizen centers, and taking part in other acts of kindness. Kristal Burns, the teacher who pioneered the superhero initiative explains, “One of my most memorable visits was to a senior citizen center. I would ask the kids, ‘Why are we here?’ They would say, ‘To make them smile!’ ‘How are we going to do that?’ ‘We’re going to look at them. We’re going to say ‘Hi.’ At one point, one little girl started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she looked at me and said, ‘My heart feels so good right now.’ She was so overwhelmed with the power she had. And that’s what she took home with her that day.”

Ms. Burns goes on to say, “Every child has kindness, but like everything else, we need to cultivate and nurture it. If we don’t, kids may not know how to use it. By watering it, feeding it and learning how to carefully keep away weeds that may want to overtake it, we not only allow the kindness inside to grow, but we learn how use it. Showing compassion without thinking of reward brings great strength and inner power. What a gift to foster in our children and humanity.”

Character Move: How about you and I take a lesson from these three year olds and proactively work to demonstrate more kindness daily at work, not just when the bad stuff happens, but every day. We need to water and feed the act of kindness, like Burns emphasizes for three year olds, or we get rusty. And as Burns notes, doing so without expectations of reciprocation or reward generates inner strength and power. And as the management guru Tom Peters notes over and over again… kindness is free! I challenge you to consciously make one proactive act of kindness daily. Write down what you did, and be aware of the reaction.

Character Hall of Fame: I am selecting Ms. Burns as new member of my Character Hall of Fame.

Superheroes of Kindness in the Triangle,

Lorne

I was with Sonny the other night in the capital of Texas, having Austin’s best BBQ at the iconic Rudy’s, wolfing down slabs of brisket and ribs, all smothered in sauce and distributed on shiny wax paper that also serves as cutlery. The conversation was even better than the dinner because Sonny is so fully alive and authentic. He’s just in his early 40′s and yet he has wrestled cancer and hogtied it to the ground twice. The last time (10 years ago), he was returning home from getting the oncologist’s diagnosis when he was hit broad side on his motorcycle. He ended up in intensive care, right back at the same hospital he was returning from. Sonny was given six months to live from the cancer let alone the bike crash, but he “cowboyed up,” his term for having the mental toughness to fight his way back to health.

Sonny will be the first to say that he couldn’t have done it without lots of help from many. But, he will also tell you that fear has two dimensions: one that comes from the concern related to uncertainty and doubt, and the other involves awe and a sense of extraordinary opportunity. It was his understanding and balance of both ends of the FEAR spectrum that gave him the mental framework to first survive and then thrive. Sonny is pictured with the moustache he is growing for Movember.

A personal growth teacher and coach, Tara Sophia Mohr has a thoughtful video and blog on the website Big Think about the spectrum of fear. In it she describes teachings by the late Rabbi Alan Lew that really changed her view on how to think about fear. Rabbi Lew talked about the many Hebrew words for fear, and about two words in particular. One is pachad – a fear of projected or imagined things. In our contemporary terms we talk about this as the fear of the irrational lizard brain (the amygdala, see Seth Godin’s work on this in his book Linchpin). It’s that over-reactive fear that when applied, often stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. That’s pachad – the fear of imagined worst case scenarios or consequences – a kind of delusional fear that we’re all hardwired to have. In the case of cancer although much of pachad fear is pretty rational, some is irrational too. In Hebrew another word for fear is yirah. According to Tara, the closest translation in English is “divine awe.” Rabbi Lew defines yirah as the fear that comes upon us when we inhabit a space that is larger than we’re used to inhabiting, when we are in the presence of something sacred or divine. When we are in that place of extreme uncertainty, there is some pachad (oh my God, what is going to happen?) and also a lot of yirah. There is that sacred, trembling feeling of being in the presence of something really mysterious and other worldly.

Character Move: when you are in that uncomfortable place that feels overwhelming, accept and recognize the pachad, AND allow yourself to find the yirah too. Hopefully we do not have to face the challenges Sonny did to learn these two definitions of fear in such a literal and sharp-edged way. Perhaps like Sonny, we can “cowboy up” and embrace the yirah when we find ourselves at the edge of something very unfamiliar. And like Sonny maybe we can leverage this to get closer to our real purpose in life. Embrace the sacredness of the space that is larger than what we’re used to inhabiting. The learning is waiting there for us.

Yirah in the Triangle,

Lorne

You can find Sonny on Twitter @SonnyJohns or at Austin-based BestFit Mobile.

The father helped his son reel in his first fish, and it was a beauty. “Great catch, son,” the father said.

“Yes, but I’m worried I’m missing out on better fish,” the son said.  “What if I could catch a bigger, tastier fish?”  “Maybe you should try,” the father said.

And the son did, catching an even bigger fish an hour later. “A real beaut,” the father said.

“But what if there are better fish out there?” the son asked.

“Maybe you should try,” the father said.

And the son did, catching a bigger fish, and then wondering if there were better fish, catching another, and so on.

At the end of the day, the son was exhausted. The father asked, “How did the fish taste?”

The son hesitated. “I’m not sure. I was so busy looking for better fish that I didn’t taste any of them.”

The father smiled contentedly, patted his belly. “Don’t worry. They were delicious.”

_______

The parable above is from Leo Babauta’s popular blog http://www.zenhabits.com/. I like it because it captures the frenzy we find ourselves in from time to time. Often I find people at all levels so worked up about getting to the next big step they forget to take a moment to digest what they’ve learned. They know there is a bigger fish and they forget to fully appreciate the one they’ve caught. Before one knows it, they end up like the little boy and lose sight of the main objective: to nourish oneself and add value to others. I really do think it is important to move forward and evolve. In fact our purpose in life, I believe, is to be constantly growing and developing ourselves while contributing to others. In fact in the highest order of spiritual thinking, even God is defined as a verb as much as a noun. However taking the time to learn lessons and “feed ourselves” is important to govern the pace of movement. “Fishing,” as a metaphor for our personal evolution, then takes on a somewhat more deliberate context.

Character Move:

1. Recognize that we are going to miss some things. I accepted the role as President of Ryzex and two weeks after I started and introduced myself to the company I was asked to do a high profile job that I wanted to do so badly that I was sick about passing on it. However if I had jumped to that “fish,” I might have missed the time at Ryzex where the Character Triangle became a fully developed concept. Accept and be accountable to feed and nourish yourself in the best way possible in your current role.
2. The time to move on and to “cast the next line” will become clearer if we are present enough to fully appreciate and absorb what we have in front of us. If our antenna is “up” we will know and use better judgment. When I look back on my career, there were a few times when I got anxious and probably took my eye off what was already on my line. The dot com era was such a time; I think I got so blurred by all the “fish” out there that I didn’t get the most out of the one in my hands. I left the COO job of a company I worked my tail off to transform and jumped to a “can’t miss” start up that of course crashed and burned in the dot com bust. I did learn a lot from that “catch,” trading a trout for a minnow. Be opportunistic but act based on what you want, NOT what you’re missing.

Full Fishing in the Triangle,

Lorne