Stephen Cave, is the author of a forthcoming book Immortality: The Quest to Live Forever and How it Drives Civilization. He points out that the death-defying scenario would likely result in action losing purpose and time losing value. In this sense he concludes that immortality would be awful and we “should toast our finitude.”

This ties into my previous blog about having a sense of urgency for taking action on things that move us forward. That is, let’s not look back when we’re 90 and regret what we didn’t do.

I also want to emphasize that personal and professional growth and development also includes taking action to stop saying and doing things that impede our progress. As an example, this week I’ve moved the ball forward in some ways and also given up yardage. I invested in celebrating with friends, went out of my way on my bike ride to stop at a roadside lemonade stand, and put some money into a parking kiosk for a stranger who had no cash in hand. I also acted petulant when some trivial thing didn’t work out and employed poorly timed humor at my wife’s expense.

Character Move: In the end Living in the Triangle is about saying and doing more of the better things more of the time. Over time and with conscientious attention each of us can improve our record so that our iterative development is truly moving forward:

1. Spend time determining what inhibitors you will stop doing and what you will do less of, and write them down.
2. Commit to learning What and How* you can either stop doing them, or do them less often.

None of us has found an elixir of immortality. Our life is defined daily by our words and action. Start fresh each day. Today do less of one thing that diminishes yourself or others.

One Less Thing in the Triangle,

Lorne

* What and How is referenced in the ground-breaking work of John G. Miller in QBQ! The Questions Behind the Question.

The other day I was reading Dan Pink’s blog and he referred to a study by Mike Morrison of the University of Illinois and Neal J. Roese of Northwestern University asked 370 Americans about their lives’ deepest regrets. Overall, there wasn’t a difference between regrets over actions taken versus actions not taken. Prior research had shown that regrets focusing on action were more common than those focusing on inaction. But people regretted inaction far longer than actions (there are other interesting aspects of this study you can read about in Pink’s blog). I think this observation by the Northwestern research may reinforce the more anecdotal summary of the hospice nurse and fits with my observation. So what are you waiting for – do it now! Please don’t be 90 years old wishing you did something.

Ok, I recognize that this is easier to say than do, so I have some guidelines to help you turn inaction into action. Fear is one of the big blocks to action. Another barrier is not having a model and mind set for action and decision making. The following includes recommendations from Marelisa Fabrega’s Abundance blog and Rosalene Glickman’s book on Optimal Thinking.

Character Moves for Taking Action. Whenever you begin to feel afraid ask yourself the following questions:

• What am I afraid of?
• What is the best way to overcome this fear?
• What action can I take to get over this fear, or to act in spite of this fear?

Write down your answers to the questions. Sleep on it and reflect on your answers. What are you afraid of?

Apply the core of Glickman’s Optimal Thinking action framework:

1. Define the problem.
2. Define the time frame in which the decision needs to be made.
3. Make a list of all your possible options.
4. Eliminate any options that are unrealistic.
5. Write down the advantages and disadvantages of each option.
6. For each option, rate each “pro” and “con” and rank (where a “10” means that it’s important, and a “1” means that it’s not important at all).
7. Score each option. For each option, add up all of the points for the “pros” and all the points for the “cons”. Subtract the total for the “cons” from the total for the “pros”, and that gives you the score for that option.
8. Choose the option with the highest score.
9. Then make the decision. Take the action. Execute. No Fear meets up with reasonable and rational optimal thinking.

No regrets because of inaction in The Triangle,

Lorne

So, my thought is why don’t we make sure we all demonstrate the right behaviors at work first, and then we have a better platform from which to advise and pontificate to our politicians. We have (in most cases) control over how we think and act at work. My belief is that if we all take care of what we can directly control, it will roll out to others we expect better from. A recent blog from Shawn Murphy outlined excellent guidance in this regard. I’ve replayed his advice in my Character Move below and added a few of my own comments.

Character Move:

1. Come to meetings seeking to hear solutions, to reconcile differences. Too often we wait for someone to stop speaking only to throw in our contrarian opinion. It’s an insidious behavior that too often attempts to make another person wrong. Its intent is to make ourselves right, to look good. It sends the conversation down a rabbit hole. Another meeting wasted. Another day without progress. Another day robbing optimism. What does an offering hand look like when this happens? Redirect the conversation by reminding people that, “We’re here for solutions,  and pushing personal agendas will not be tolerated.”
2. Establish a new precedent for intolerance of harmful exchanges. When teams come together, I expect healthy conflict. It’s characterized by ideas clashing, but with willingness to understand the other person or group’s viewpoint. Listening occurs. And if the exchange goes beyond healthy conflict, any person in the group stops the conversation. That person points out that the current direction is not going to address the team or meeting’s purpose. No more sitting silently thinking, “This is a waste of my time.” Speak up.
3. Remember that constructive relationships are vital. Our organizations face their own set of wicked problems. A sure path to finding solutions is leadership that demands higher level of integrity in the interactions and value placed on relationships. Allowing behaviors that sabotage progress and weakens relationships simple lets wicked problems prevail. We each need to model the leadership that unites people to achieve results together. Invest in building constructive relationships with all “camps” at work.

Relationship Building in The Triangle,

Lorne

So what does one do at WORK when FEAR hits the market like it has the past few weeks? It may be counter intuitive but it is not the time to hide; hoping that those with the ability to take action won’t notice. It is the time to make sure your value is understood and noticed.

Character Move:

1. Take a hard look at what you’re doing and how it creates value in your organization. Make sure you know and that you’re meeting or exceeding expectations.
2. Ask your boss what and how you can help him/her navigate their challenges. Sincerely show that you care about the pressure they’re under to perform.
3. Avoid any unnecessary drama. The last thing anyone needs to deal with is some distracting “drama.”
4. Make sure you have a backup plan. If business changes dramatically you may get caught up in a layoff regardless of all of the above. Do not avoid this thinking. A job cut can happen to the best of us for no rational reason other than the reactive behavior of leaders acting on fear.

No Hiding in the Triangle,

Lorne

Character Move:

1. Take 4 minutes and 33 seconds to watch the video. Take notes. Do not get distracted by other things when you’re watching and listening.
2. Determine how well you are applying the five things he outlines in the video. Take action based on your self assessment.
3. Share the video with people you really care about.
4. Recognize that genuine happiness is really more in our control than we realize.
5. Put stuff that’s not in our control where it belongs.

Five Happiness Actions in the Triangle,

Lorne

So here’s the point. What we focus on largely creates our emotional state.

Character Move:

1. Recognize that self awareness is a vital place to start. We have to be able to recognize and describe our emotions. What are we feeling and communicating?
2. Focus on what needs focusing on but remember we can choose to communicate confidence or despair, and everything in between. What do we want to communicate? Choose it consciously and carefully.
3. Get feedback on the vibe we send… ask, watch, listen, learn.

Mood Awareness in the Triangle,

Lorne

The US culture is fiercely autonomous and independent. These values are fundamental to the creativity and industrious nature of the famous “American way.” To move a company (or country for that matter) forward, success is more around applying the spirit of inclusiveness and expansion. This philosophy is different than everyone agreeing and seeing everything the same way. It can and should accommodate individualism. It is also much different than, “My way is the only right way because I believe it is so, and screw everyone else.”

Character Move:

1. Self assess how much room you have for the view of others in your work place.
2. How effective are people at constructively attacking issues instead of each other (or other departments)?
3. What tools like STP* are in place to help that dialogue?
4. How often is the focus on “me” versus “we”? Listen to the words that people use in their communication? Is it for the greater good?

We don’t want to raise the debt limits in our companies if we can avoid it. But I believe we could all benefit from raising the respect limit!

Raising the Respect Limit in the Triangle,

Lorne

* STP – Situation – Target – Proposal

1. Pay and Recognition. Are you and I getting compensated fairly? Are we being sufficiently recognized for the work we do? Do people honestly care and value us for our individual contributions? How do we know? There are a lot of components to answering this question well. It is much broader than base pay. Ideally we feel great about total compensation AND the amount we get recognized.
2. Knowledge and Information. Do you and I have the right information to do our work well? How are we measured? How do we stack up to those metrics? Do we have access to the data we need to do our job well? We need to discern between data and insight. Ideally we have insight-rich feedback systems guiding us.
3. Education and Learning. Are we trained to do our job well? Does the management and information systems allow us to continuously learn? Are we getting better at our job? How do we honestly know? How much coaching and development are we seeking? … And getting?
4. Engagement and Involvement. Do we have an opportunity to improve processes we’re responsible for? Are you and I actively participating in making things better? Have we made things better? What evidence do we have to prove it? Does our input to improving processes we are responsible for and impacted by really count?

You and I have a responsibility to assess whether we score high on ALL of these four areas. If any one area gets out of balance or alignment things can go badly; at worse we end up having a “blow out.” We have a responsibility to take action to elevate our score in each area. This means not being passive. We are self accountable for our work environment.

Character Move: the big four are what I call the “People Contribution System” and are part of an overall leadership framework called the “Rubis Leadership System”™. Take a moment during your summer vacation to ask yourself tough questions, while self assessing where you are on the big four. Please remember that it is important to score highly in EACH area. Put a plan in place to get the right balance. If not, a wholesale tire change may be necessary.

Time for a tire check in The Triangle,

Lorne

This reminds me that every day you and I pass “lemonade stands” at work. Obviously they are not lemonade stands but what would happen if:

• We always stopped to say good morning to the first person we met coming in the door, asked sincerely as to how they were, and listened to their response?
• Carefully watched and held the door or elevator open for people coming in behind us?
• Said good morning to people as we came in to our work area and broadly smiled as we did so?
• Wrote a hand written (not email) thank you or recognition note to someone who helped us or someone we observed doing something great? We could easily do this while we waited for our computer to boot up… i.e. before our email overtook us!
• Made a point of identifying on our daily agenda someone we were going to help or coach that day?
• Concluded each day thanking someone?

People tell me the pressure of applying the Character Triangle with consistency can be daunting. Of course as human beings we can and will stray from the principles from time to time. I am more interested in promoting the relentless journey of purposefully practicing the principles than expecting personal perfection from myself or others. However, the one thing I know for sure is that the small stuff ends up being the big stuff.

The above behavioral examples at one level are trivial. They will not on their own make or break a business model. However if we make a point of attending to the small stuff, the bigger things have a better foundation for connecting with the same principles.

Character Move:

1. Don’t pass literal or metaphorical lemonade stands without “buying”!
2. Set the stage each day at work, as we travel between the front door and our office/cube/station.
3. Be present, smile, say thank you, and acknowledge in our first 30 minutes and the “table will be set” for the rest of the day.
4. Wrap every day with a genuine thank you.
5. Do it all over again until it becomes a positive habit.

No Lemons in the Triangle,

Lorne