http://www.lornerubis.com/2010/09/attack-process-not-the-person/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=attack-process-not-the-person building character at work and in life Wed, 15 May 2013 07:22:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://www.lornerubis.com/2010/09/attack-process-not-the-person/comment-page-1/#comment-117 Lorne Wed, 15 Sep 2010 18:33:00 +0000 http://www.lornerubis.com/?p=739#comment-117 I still like this blog, just as it is. This world of individuals does not adhere to the same playbook, and that fact creates obstacles. Perhaps those of us who do can impact the overall atmosphere. The old adage of "lead by example" comes to mind. I like Melissa's comments above. She reminds me of communication techniques which clarify and avoid misunderstandings. If we took the time to do that in all of our relationships, we'd have a solid groundwork to move forward. I still like this blog, just as it is. This world of individuals does not adhere to the same playbook, and that fact creates obstacles. Perhaps those of us who do can impact the overall atmosphere. The old adage of “lead by example” comes to mind.
I like Melissa’s comments above. She reminds me of communication techniques which clarify and avoid misunderstandings. If we took the time to do that in all of our relationships, we’d have a solid groundwork to move forward.

]]> http://www.lornerubis.com/2010/09/attack-process-not-the-person/comment-page-1/#comment-116 Melissa Wed, 15 Sep 2010 14:46:46 +0000 http://www.lornerubis.com/?p=739#comment-116 One thing that came out my education in psychology was learn to say that someone had "x" not that they were "x" (e.g. a child with autism, not an autistic child). I've worked hard to apply this in all areas of my life and I think it's relevant here. Whether you're finding fault with something a person does or having the courage to generalize it to the process, I think it's valuable to make the distinction. It isn't enough to say something is a horrible, frustating process; you have to take the accountability to say "this process has a part that frustrates me." Otherwise, I think we're just shifting the blame and removing ourselves from the equation, when, in reality, we might be the ones who can make a difference. One thing that came out my education in psychology was learn to say that someone had “x” not that they were “x” (e.g. a child with autism, not an autistic child). I’ve worked hard to apply this in all areas of my life and I think it’s relevant here. Whether you’re finding fault with something a person does or having the courage to generalize it to the process, I think it’s valuable to make the distinction. It isn’t enough to say something is a horrible, frustating process; you have to take the accountability to say “this process has a part that frustrates me.” Otherwise, I think we’re just shifting the blame and removing ourselves from the equation, when, in reality, we might be the ones who can make a difference.

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